Say no to hugs!

 I don't know about you, but as a parent there are so many things we can worry about. Especially when our children are young. One particular statistic makes me cringe.  I heard it a while ago before I even had kids. 1 in 3 girls are sexually assaulted and (even worse) most of the time by someone they know and are supposed to be able to trust. I know its not just little girls we need to worry about. It happens to little boys too. I have thought, "How can I prevent this from happening? How can I teach my children about this?" It's a hard subject and makes me sick. But I have to protect my babies and I am not always with them.

 I read a blog a few years ago about not making your kids give people hugs or kisses if they don't want to. Even family members. How unhealthy this practice is for our children. You have heard it. We guilt and bribe children if they say no when some one asks for a hug or kiss. "Auntie is going to be so sad if you don't give her a hug." "I will give you a candy if you give me a kiss." Do you see the error in this?  They are being taught that they can't say no that it's some how not okay, and if they get something, then it must be okay or they have to do it.  How will they be able to say no or tell someone if someone touches them inappropriately? They will be able to be guilted or bribed in to thinking that's okay too.

So I do not make my children give hugs or kisses if they don't want to. This includes anyone and everyone. I am teaching them it's okay to say no. Their body is private and they have the right not to be touched in any way. Even a hug is inappropriate if they don't want it. It's not just good touches vs. bad touches. A "good" by someone else's definition may still be a bad touch.

I also have started to teach them that we don't kiss anyone on the lips besides family. A kiss on the cheek is fine but no lips. Not only does it teach boundaries but also for health reasons. Lets not help the spread of germs.

I want my kids to respect their bodies and know that they can make others respect their body too. No is an okay answer. I don't want to be mean about it but I am going to start stating my ground. Know that I am not discriminating against you if I tell you my child does have to give you a hug or not to kiss them. This is for their protection as well as yours. I hope I made others think and I have helped to protect other children. That is our jobs as parents, to protect our children and teach them how to protect themselves, because we won't always be there. I don't want my girls to end up a statistic.

Motherhood

Motherhood

 Is motherhood everything I thought it would be? Yes and no. Yes, because it's all the joy and love I thought it would be. No, because you never imagine how hard it really is.There's a saying: "Motherhood is the hardest and greatest thing a woman will ever do." 

Before I had kids, I worked in childcare for almost 7 years. I was also going to school for early childhood education. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I had this motherhood thing in the bag. After all, I loved babies. I thought, "If I can take care of ten kids all day long or 4 infants, then how hard could only one be all the time?" The toddler room wasn't my favorite so I stayed away from there as much as I could. 8-10, 1 and 2 year olds in the same room was CRAZY! Oh how little I knew. Really I was only taking care of kids for 7 1/2 hours. I got an hour lunch, 2, 15 minuet breaks, and weekends off.  Watching someone else's kids is nothing like, I repeat nothing, like having your own children that you are responsible to care for 24/7.

The Truth about Breastfeeding

The truth is, most people don't know anything about breastfeeding. I am still learning things after 3 babies and 44 months. A recent post on a site I frequent got me upset, even though I laughed about it, too. I just can't believe people actually think like that. I thought to myself, "How ignorant this lady is". This would be a very long blog post if I talked about every aspect of breastfeeding, so I won't do that. There is already a ton of information out there, so I will just touch on my experiences and what I have learned.

Move'n on

I have learned (it has been a long learning process) that life is always changing and always for the better, even if it doesn't seem like it.

I have never liked change. Change has been hard for me in the past. I have finally learned life doesn't always go how I want it to. In fact there will always be things that will happen that I won't like. I now know that everything that I have gone through, good or bad and mostly the bad things, have shaped me into a better person. A more caring, compassionate and loving person.

Our Craniosynostosis Story

Craniosynostosis, or craino for short, is when one or more of the sutures in a infants head fuses together too soon, changing the way the head grows. A child's sutures close gradually, one by one, until about age 2.

When Kate was about 2  months old, Emma who was not yet 2 year old threw a toy cup at Kate, hitting her right on head. I examined her head but I didn't see exactly where the cup hit. I saw a bump on her head that I thought might be from the hit, but it never bruised or got any bigger. Little did I know that it wasn't the bump I should have been looking at, and it wasn't from a hit on the head. 

A couple months went by and the bump stayed the same. I kept looking it wondering if something was wrong. No one else ever said anything to me about the shape of her head, until I was out shopping with a friend and she asked if Kate's head was flat on one side. I told her, "I always thought there was a bump on the other side, do you think anything is wrong?" Like a good friend, she assured me it was probably nothing and that Kate was fine. I still wondered, and after asking a few other people about it, I finally called her doctor.

The home birth of Kate

Kate's birth story. 

(Pictures by Carissa Pierce Photography)

The night before Kate was born, I had a few contractions sometime around midnight. I got up to go to the bathroom. I told her, “No, not now. I don't want to start this in the middle of the night. I'm tired.” So I went back bed. The contractions lasted about another 15 mins, then I fell asleep.

Two In the Hospital and One at Home

At home, in labor with #3

I thought I'd give you some insight into how I went from two hospital births to a home birth, and how my thinking changed along the way.

My first pregnancy was rough. For the most part I hated being pregnant. I was really sick and in and out of the hospital the first few months. I didn't take a lot of pictures of my belly with my first, so I took a lot with my second and even more with my third. With my first pregnancy, I had an OB in town and delivered in the local hospital. I really did not like to be in the car when pregnant so I didn't want to drive far while in labor. I had thought about a midwife but was told it was better to go with an OB the first time, because you don't know what will happen.

Looking back, I wish I had used a midwife with all my babies, but that's okay. There were things I knew I wanted to do, even with the first one. I wanted a natural labor no drugs; I just didn't like the idea of drugs while in labor or a huge needle in my back. I knew I would breastfeed and use cloth diapers. I researched the breastfeeding quite a bit and cloth diapering some. I didn't do a lot of research on natural birth; just read a few stories and knew that's what I wanted.